More than a day

I began this post on Valentine's Day - I will try to finish it today.

Today is Valentine's Day.  A day that many couples celebrate in an over-the-top kinda day.  A day that some celebrate as a family.  A day that some like myself really don't celebrate at all.  Why, don't I celebrate?  I've been asked this many times through the years. And my answer remains the same, "Love should be celebrated everyday not just one day of the year".
I've thought for several days about what I would write today.
Thoughts of Love: Simple love, Difficult love, Everlasting love, Friendship love, and Relational love

Simple Love...I'm still trying to figure out how anything about love is simple.  I've boiled it down to all the things we say we "love".We will say we love certain foods, drinks, books, movies, places, items of clothing...will you get the picture.

Difficult Love...Abuse. Broken families. Addiction. Broken relationships. The journey for many in our society. Forgiveness, restoration, healing, and trust are part of this type of love.

Everlasting Love...This love I have known since I was 7 years old but continue to learn and grow more in this love each day. A love that is extended to everyone.  A love that requires us to have faith in someone we cannot physically see as an individual but see Him in others, in creation, and can feel His presence in our lives.

Friendship Love...Childhood friendships are beautiful memories.  Sometimes we are fortunate that those same friendships grow up with us and are a part of our lives forever and sometimes they are just a memory.  When I think about it, it doesn't really matter the age of the person when we love that special friend. Friendships are sometimes for a lifetime, some are seasonal but they are all a wonderful part of our life and I can't imagine life without the love of friends.

Relational Love...This love is beautiful and comes from the everlasting love.  The creation of humanity, the creation of relationships, all come from God's love.  This love grows each day, should be at the forefront of our thoughts.  I saw a poster the other day that said, Love is not the person you can live with but the person you cannot live without. This love is not always easy and it can have some rough patches along the way but it is beautiful and worth the "work" that goes into it - that protects it.

The words above were written on February 14, 2013 but stored in a draft to get back to and finish. As life happens days turned in to months and I vowed to finish the post today.

Since my word for the year is love, I continue to look at love, live in love and long to love. So far in 2013, I have experienced love these ways -  in our family as our son was married two months ago today; Tommy and I celebrated 26 years of marriage; a friend who has fallen in love; the pain of losing love for a few other family members; the loss of a loved one for friends and family... the list could go on.  A lesson in love is a lesson in life.  It is ever-changing.

Today, I am thankful I am loved.

A list

A friend of mine and fellow blogger, Kris Bridgman, shared her list today and asked others to copy/paste and share their own list.  I went with the first thing that came to my mind.  

I am:  a bit sassy, hardheaded, and passionate
I think: about the future, a lot
I want:  people to truly live life not just walk through it
I have:  a loving husband, son, family and friends
I dislike: when people (including myself) think we know what is best for everyone else, or that we completly understand their situation
I miss:  the snow, seeing my son on a regular basis
I fear:  for my son 
I feel:  happy and sad at the same time sometimes
I hear: my husband singing upstairs in his studio, the fan of the furnace
I smell: not much today
I crave:  mexican food, a good cup of hot tea
I search:  for answers and solutions
I wonder:  how old I will be when I become a grandmother
I regret:  not staying in shape
I love:  to cook, and to share a meal with friends, to laugh, read and garden
I care:  about the homeless, the loss of empathy and compassion in our communities
I am always:  planning ahead
I worry:  about overscheduling and just going through the motions of life
I remember: Sunday afternoons at my grandparents houses, hiking the mountain behind Mama's house with my cousins
I sing:  all the time
I argue:  to be a voice for the unheard and sometimes because I'm grouchy
I write:  to decompress
I lose:  ink pens
I wish:  I could travel more often to see friends and experience new places
I listen:  sometimes...this is a continual work in progress for me.  To listen to God and others is important to me
I don't understand:  why so many don't act like they care about anyone but themselves, why 18,000 children die from hunger and other issues each day, why human trafficking and fair trade issues aren't important to more people
I can usually be found:  at work, at Spencer's, or home reading
I am scared:  of needing my valve replaced sometime and having cancer someday
I need:  more patience
I forget:  who I use to be and how far God has brought me
I am happy:  having conversations with my husband, son, family, friends, strangers ( I guess that means I like to talk, still working on the listening side). Hiking. Sharing with others. 

Now it's your turn.  Make your own list and let me know so I can come read yours.  And remember, don't spend too much time thinking about it.  Usually what first comes to mind is what you need to write. Don't worry about sounding goofy, or nonspiritual, or whatever. . .we are all a work in progress;)

Loving those like I was.....

So who knew the word "Love" could stir so much in just one week.
I've been met with loving those who "despise" me or the actions I have. Loving those who made choices that hurt those who were offering help to them.  Loving those who hurt me in the past. Loving those who love me just as I am. Loving myself when I struggle to love others.  
I've sought wisdom from others.  I've prayed. I've read. Though questions linger.
I told a friend this morning that I see this as a major challenge for me this year.  A mountain to climb but a mountain that is worth the climb.
You see, I can love my family, my friends, the broken, the poor, the homeless, the murderer who is sorry, the sex offender who repented but I struggle to love.....

How did Jesus love the Pharisees and Saducees?

This is my question to explore, to pray about, to read about.  How do you love someone who talks about you, who talks down about others, who judges situations as though they have never had a problem or failed, who picks and chooses who is "good enough" or lives the right way for them to "love".

My reminder is not so long ago I too was one of "those people".

I did not love the poor.
I did not love the homeless.
I did not love the person living or dying in a foreign land.
I did not love someone who was liberal.
I did not love someone who was conservative.
I did not love someone who was gay.
I did not love someone who was rich.
I did not love the person dying from AIDS.
I did not love someone who was thin.
I did not love someone who was fat.
I did not love someone who questioned me.
I did not love a drug addict.
I did not love the person trapped in human trafficking.
I did not love an alcoholic.
I did not love the abuser.
I did not love the person who went through a divorce.
I did not love.


You see. Even though I became a Christian as a young child, it wasn't until my adult years and not all of them that I began to love others.  Remember, I had to learn what loving the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul and loving my neighbor as myself meant.  I cannot say today that I've accomplished loving all that I am to love because I struggle to love those who are like I use to be. I have to remind myself that God did a miracle in my life and he can do it in others too.  My role is to show his love through my life. It was one layer at a time for my life.  Maybe it will be one layer at a time for their life too.
 In the meantime, I must love, extend grace, protect my spirit and pray.

As you read this maybe you see yourself or part of yourself in the words on this page. Love is a beautiful thing.  It is a noun, an adjective, an action word. Love comes from the source of life, God. May you find yourself praying, seeking, reading, sharing the love that he created you in.  The love He has given to all of us. The love we are to give to Him and all of his creation.

                                                                         Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave

My Word for 2013 is....

My friend, Kris, is so dear to me.  We get to spend time each week together at the Homeless Outreach, try to do lunch once a month, and chat when we can.  Recently she shared on her blog her word for 2013.  It made me think about having such a word.  What would choosing one word to add to living my daily life look like.  Could I do it? Do I want to do it?  But in the pit of my stomach, I was challenged.  Challenged to pray, seek, and think about a word...my word for 2013.  A word that would call me to action, to service, to gratitude, to give, to share, to contemplate over, to meditate on, to be a noun, to be an action verb. You see my word is LOVE.  

Love...an encompassing word.  So much to be said for it, about it, the lack of it.  It is also a word we take for granted and throw around for everything.  I had a friend say to me one time it really upset him when someone would say, I love McDonald's french fries.  For him using the word LOVE had such a deep, close to his soul meaning for him, it truly upsets him to see people throw the word around like yesterday's laundry.

So how will this word impact my life in 2013?  Will it make a difference to others in my community, my family, my friends, my world?  

In 1 Corinthians 13 we have the Love verses.  Many times this scripture is used in weddings but what if I read this everyday.  What if I truly apply the words to my life?  

Love is Patient....I'm not always a patient person.  

Love is Kind.....I'm  not always a kind person.

Love does not envy....Sometimes I envy others or my perception of what I think there life is like.

Love does not Boast....I come from a loud and proud family.

Love is not Proud....More layers for God to peel away.

Love is not Self-Seeking....Life cannot be just about me.

Love is not Rude....Ok, I've been working on this one for years.  Still working on it

Love is not easily angered....Loving people who do not love others angers me.

Love keeps no record of Wrong Doings....I don't, well most of the time

Love does not Delight in Evil....I got this one!

Love rejoices with Truth....The truth will set us free.

Love Protects....Even when we think it hasn't

Love Trusts.... Without trust we can have nothing else.

Love Hopes....Hope for a world of love.

Love Perseveres....Love is more than french fries.

Love NEVER Fails....We fail as humans but Love does not fail.

Whew, this is just one verse that speaks about Love.

There's the great commandment: LOVE the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul; LOVE your neighbor as yourself.

Loving God sometimes seems to be the simple and easy thing to do.  But when we look at the LOVE he has for us....I'm not sure we can even really begin to fathom it.

A verse that has become the biggest "poster" verse is John 3:16

For God so LOVED the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes on him will not perish but have everlasting life.

God Loves Me. I am to Love Him.

God Loves You.  I am to Love you.

God Loves his creation and created us for his glory.  We are to love one another.

So what will 2013 look like for me?  I'm not sure but I hope, pray and cling to Love.

On this day, December 31, 2012.  I'm thankful for the love I have.  The love of a husband for the past 28 years of my life.  The love of a son for 21 years.  The love of my parents and brother for 43 years. The love of family, friends.  Some who I have spent a lifetime with, some who I have only known in 2012.  I've learned that Love comes in all shapes and sizes. 

 It crosses all socio-economic barriers, if we will allow it too.

I look forward and I'm a bit scared of where love may take me in the next year.  

What do I need to find a fresh love for?

Who do I need to share love with?

What barriers are up that do not allow me to love?

LOVE....4 letters that I pray will change my life and yours in 2013 and beyond.

Without Love I am nothing.

No title, the page is blank

The blank page...




I'm not sure where to begin during this Advent season, so I stare at the blank page.  It isn't because I have nothing to write about -  it's the task of taking all that swirls around in my head and put it to paper.

I look forward each year to Advent.  I enjoy the season of Hope, Joy, Peace and Love.  I long to read and study during the season.  To rejuvenate. To see where life has taken me from the past year's Advent and wonder where the next will lead.



But a blank page, really?

 Yes.


 My mind races over the joys of the past 12 months. The hope, peace and love that's been there.
 Along with the despair, struggles, anger, sorrow, and frustration.

Among it all, I hold to the One who gives me hope, joy, peace and love...



But for now the page is blank...Merry Christmas.

What is normal?

The pains of normal or not being normal, everyone has them.

I look back over my life and some of my relationships with family and friends have been "normal" while others, well.........not so much.  But what does this really mean and how do we adapt to whatever "our normal" is?

I've learned over the past three years that Bennett going off to college brought a different type of normalcy to the house than when he joined the Air Force. When a child goes off to college most of us know they will be coming home a few times a semester, parents go and visit their kids at school, you meet their new friends, you still get to do their laundry. When a child joins the military everyone has to learn a new normal.  This isn't bad it just something new to learn. The longest we have gone without seeing Bennett is 7 months and that was a surprise to us because we actually thought it was going to be a little more than a year before we saw him again. When your child is in the service they have so much to adapt to, so much to make their own normal....meeting new people, then maybe saying goodbye quicker than hoped, moving to new places, leaving behind what they know and have been comfortable with, they are independent and now do their own laundry! Everyone in the family has to find new ways to make all of our schedules work so we carve out that special calling time on Sunday evening. This is our new normal.

Others face different types of normal....a passing of a loved one, a divorce, a loss of a job, a bad grade, a new church, the list could go on for miles.

How we cope, grow, and press on, is different for each of us in search of our normal.  I've learned that no one is "normal" and sometimes the Norman Rockwell picture just explodes or is enough to make you want to puke. Everyone must find their path.  Their way to stay connected to those they love or things they love to do in spite of the ever changing world around them.

My mom recently shared with me she has come to terms that her remaining years on earth will not be as she had pictured as a young woman.  She is excepting her normal.  This for her means my family will not be living close by and Sunday dinners with all the family are not a common theme for us. She isn't alone in wishing families still lived close by and shared weekly meals together but she had to understand her normal is a few special dinners a year.

A friend who lost her spouse said, I just had to learn how to be me without him right here with me. She isn't alone in having lost a loved one but she had to find her new normal.

Another friend's son is heading into the teenage years. Gone is the normal cuddle time it is replaced by the tempermental, hormonal teenager.  Ah, the new normal for a few years.

A long distance relationship is not the same as when you leave in the same city.
 Both can have normalcy - it is their own.

During this Advent season I am reflecting on the birth of Christ, the life of Christ, the death and resurrection of Christ.  None of it was "normal".


So the next time someone says to me - that's just not normal.  I think I will respond, What is normal?

Three important days in November...what about the other 362

Over the past few months I have watched people I know spew vile words, pictures, rhetoric, be "scripture bullies" and more on social media.   I joined a friend in a political fast not because I did not have an opinion or beliefs but because I like to have conversations and try to understand a person's view that may be the same or differ from mine.  Over the past 10 years my opinions, beliefs and practices of life have evolved into who I am today.  But I also pray to keep growing as a person over the next years of my life too and not become stagnant and stubborn in a way of life. Elections come and go, political life is so removed from the daily life of the rest of the world that sometimes I can even laugh about it.  A state senator for KY said in 2010 he was spending the next 2 years making sure the President was not re-elected.  I see this senator really cares about the state he is to be serving. I also do not get my news from the "standard" media.  To find out what is going on in the world, one really has to search out other sources of news.

 If Americans are so passionate about change then we should begin in our own communities; volunteer to mentor a child, visit a senior citizen who has no family near by, serve others, shop local, support your farmers, support Veterans, encourage your employer to think outside the box, enjoy your local parks, recycle, get to know your local government and what the struggles are in the community and plans for growth.  These are just a few things that anyone can do but it takes motivation.
 It requires action not just words.
                                                     It requires time not just a rant.
It requires us to think about someone else not just our self.

We will not always get "our way" so for many that just means stay at home in my own bubble and complain about everything. Throw $5 in the red kettle or offering plate and say I did my part.

(I'm sorry the last two sentences were part of my rant!)

November also brings us Veteran's Day.  I have family members who are Veterans.  Friends who are Veterans and a son who is currently serving in the US Air Force.  I am also working with a homeless Veteran and have others clients that are Veterans.
As a child I remember going to the Veteran's Day parade in Charleston WV.  Standing on the sidewalk seeing flags waving, signs of gratitude, and clapping as the Veterans went by.  I remember when Bennett was a boy and he would see someone in uniform or know they were a Veteran, he always wanted to meet them.  In the 4th grade his teacher's husband was serving out of the country and Bennett's class wrote him letters of encouragement.  Bennett received a special coin from him and has it to this day.

I remember meeting with one of my young homeless Veterans back in Charleston while working at Manna Meal.  He had been discharged because of a drug addiction he acquired while being in the sand pit.  So for him this means he is not a Veteran, he is someone who served and fought in battle but will not receive Veteran benefits nor can he have that title.  He is one of many.  As he and I spoke tears fell down this 24 year old's face.  He said, I've lost everything.  My best friend and girl friend just died from a heroine overdose.  I'm in treatment and I have no job skills.  I served 3 years in the Army as a mercenary, my only job skill is killing people and I don't think that is useful here at home."  Another Veteran had served in the Marine Corps.  Tragedy had struck his family and sent him to a dark place in his soul.  Nightmares haunted him anytime his eyes were closed. He worked 2 jobs to try to survive. A friend of mine is 75 years old, served as a Marine many years ago. He is a retired pastor who prays for peace in the world.  Another friend an Army Veteran who is in his mid 40's is a pastor in KY, he prays for peace in the world.

                         Some day my son will be a Veteran of the United States of America Air Force.

Pray for those who have served, are serving, and will serve.  Pray for peace.

Next comes Thanksgiving....this Thursday.  This day for many is all about football and food. Some families have traditions, some families have none, some families only gather on "that" day, others gather whenever the gang can all be there.  My family's Thanksgivings have changed through the years.  We use to gather at my grandparents homes when I was a kid.  My Mama Edens was all about the traditional meal with plenty of mashed potatoes for me.  My Mama Meadows was about traditional dessert but you never knew what the meal would be.  Her pecan pie is still my favorite.  My mom makes her recipe every year. Then came time for my Mom and Dad to begin our own tradition and well we are a no tradition family.  My brother use to work shift work so we gathered whenever he was off.  My mom cooked whatever she wanted; lasagna, roast beef, baked steak, turkey...let's not forget the year we had Turkey Ham! This is still our "tradition" at Mom's house.  My brother no longer works shift work but I no longer live nearby and the grandkids are all grown.  On the other side of my family, my mother-in-law, Janie was all about the traditional meal.  She would cook a turkey breast with all the trimmings and we would gather at her house for dinner.  This will be our 6th Thanksgiving with Janie not at the table, our meals there have never been the same.  I remember our first Thanksgiving without her, none of us were in the mood for the traditional foods so we had squirrel and steaks! Yes, you read that right - squirrel!! Squirrel gravy is sooooo good. For Tommy and I this is our 2nd Thanksgiving without Bennett being able to be with us. It makes the day have a different feel to it now.

I think back to history class as a child learning about the first Thanksgiving meal.  I wonder how many of us would be willing to invite someone who is different from us to the table, to share a meal - laughter - conversation.  This takes me back to the beginning of my writing today and the title of my post
 "Three important days in November...what about the other 362".

Our words and actions are important everyday of the year.  Don't just rant about who you hate have a conversation. Don't just think a Veteran one time a year. Don't worry about the Thanksgiving meal or when it is just enjoy the time with those you love.

   Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul.  Love your neighbor as yourself.

                                                                         Love Wins.